Home (a ReyLoReyBen fic)
by Elukia
Summary: Just what I would love to see at the end of episode IX. First chapter is fluff, second and third are kinda fluff too, last one is smut. Enjoy! PS: Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if you spot any mistakes, tell me! PS2: I will upgrade the rating when the last chapter is out.
1. Chapter 1

**_Chapter 1_**

He woke up, feeling an enourmous headache, and he brought his hand to his forehead.

He could remember everything… The connections through the Force with Rey, her insisting him to come back to the light… The dilemma that made him split in two, that broke him inside and made him want to scream endlessly, made him mad…

The Darkness had been everything to him for so long…

But it all had ended when Hux had taken leadership, taking advantage of one fit of rage from him, the Supreme Leader. At first, he had felt rage, an urge to murder him for disobeying. But all that had waved away when that futile dog had given one order that would change everything.

The order to kill Rey.

For some reason, when Hux had pronounced those words, his mind had turned completely blank. The hatred had disappeared. And he only could hear her words, so tender some time ago, when he had told her that she was not alone.

"Neither are you".

He could only remember her. The touch of her hands. The determination inside her. How her eyes shone when she came there, to him, risking her life by trusting him. Her body heat in the battle, her clumsy, brute ability with the saber…

All that… was going to disappear.

She was going to disappear.

And an unique feeling had flooded him completely, drowning him. But this time, in a way he had never felt before, warm even though it formed a lump in his throat.

And there was not hatred in him while he had destroyed his own ships, while he had killed Hux, while he had felt to his knees before the Resistance and, right after that, lost his consciousness.

No.

A little bit of egoism, maybe. Pain, a deep pain, and anxiousness. But, especially, something he had never thought he could feel. Something he didn't deserve.

He clenched his fist and, with it, his eyes, sitting up on the litter after releasing himself from the medical dome.

His body was still sore. He sighed.

To be honest, it was pure luck that he was still alive. That last battle had been too much for him. If he had survived, it had been so as to keep Rey safe.

He looked at the palms of his hands.

Maybe it was not luck, but a disgrace.

After all, what would he do now? Live with the Resistance, rebuild the Republic? Who would be able to trust him after everything he had done? Those hands… With those hands he had murdered his own father, one of his most beloved ones. With those hands he had annihilated rebel fleets, allies… And now he was to join them? Ridiculous.

After all, he might really be alone.

"Ben?"

His heart made a pirouette inside his chest, recognizing that voice immediately.

He lift his eyes, and there she was. The end of the war had been kind to her: her cheeks were pinker than ever, and his hair fell down both sides of her face. He opened his mouth, but he did not know what to say.

Rey, reclined on the door frame, smiled.

"I'm glad to see you're fine", she said.

He did not answer, feeling a twinge inside him. She was so kind with him… She had always been… Even now. Even though he was not worthy. She should hate him, insult him, reject him. Maybe that way, he could accept his sins. If she was the one to punish him, it would be more than fair. Because nobody knew him better than her.

But for some reason…

Rey came closer to him, hesitant, step after step. She raised a hand to his face, and he tensed up, grabbing the litter mightily, shrinking on himself. While what felt like seconds, he wanted to scream, push her away using the Force and distance himself from her, as he had done so many times.

His lips trembled, thinking about if for a moment.

But something inside him shouted eagerly for her touch, begging for her. Even though he knew that he should not… That he should stay away from her, for her sake, because he was nothing more than a tormented soul, that only brought suffering to anyone around him.

Even though he knew that, he staying still, waiting the touch.

And, finally, Rey's hand alighted onto his right cheek, onto the scar that she herself had carved on him. Her eyes roamed along her warm fingers, making him shiver, unable to stop staring at her and her concentrated expression, just as soft as her.

He wanted to say something, but could not. He barely felt his own breathing, nor the tears that had started to fall down his cheeks. Only her, her fingers, her presence there, before him, and the delicacy with which she treated him, as if he was something really important.

"Ben?", she said again, hesitant. "Are you okay?". She moved away her hand, frowning.

Quickly, almost an instinctive reflex, he grabbed her wrist.

"No", he said, his voice firm. He breathed in, compelling himself to calm down, and he softened his grip, taking her hand to his cheek again". Please, no…

"What's wrong?" Rey tilted her head and, in response, his weeping grew stronger. She started to clean his tears, confused and troubled. He buried his face in her fingers, letting himself get flooded with the sensation". Ben, would you please tell me what's wrong?

"You're so warm…", he whispered, sobbing, and he clenched his teeth, closing his eyes. He caught a corner of her robe". Why… why are you doing this?

"Doing what?", she asked, bewildered, still cleaning his tears.

"Why… why are you touching me?

Rey let out a soft laugh.

"C'mon, Ben, stop fooling around."

"I mean it!", he roared, lifting his head. Rey opened her eyes a lot after encountering that face, disfigured with pain; that face she knew so well, and she knew what he was thinking even before he could say it. "I don't deserve any of this! I should be dead! Why didn't you kill me?! Why didn't you put an end to my misery?! To this pain that feasts inside me?!" He slammed the litter, and the whole room trembled. Rey, before him, stood unshaken. "After so much suffering… after so many terrible things… Only death can mend everything I did."

"Ben", she said again, with that sweet voice of hers.

He clenched both of his fists, his chest burning. That was only comparable to the pain of killing his father.

"Don't talk to me like that!", he stood up, approaching her aggressively, howling, spitting the fire inside him, cornering her against the wall. "I am Kylo Ren! The Supreme Leader! I brought misery upon this universe! I murdered Han Solo! I obliterated countless rebels, so many you couldn't ever get your head around it! I…! I made you suffer!" The bawling didn't stop. He banged the wall heavily, just beside Rey's head, frustration building up again inside him. "Your friends' lives…! My family's…! Luke…! I'm stupid, useless, arrogant! I don't deserve to live, I don't deserve to know happiness! My mere existence means disgrace to this universe! So, why didn't you kill me, Rey?! Death would have hurt less than this, than this… gash, this fire that burns my guts!" Beholding the neuter expression of the girl, he hit the wall again, furious. "Answer me!"

"You're not Kylo Ren", she responded, calm tone, standing as tall as she was. "You've never been Kylo Ren."

"You…!"

"And I know that because we're the same, Ben", she continued. She took a step towards him, and he could only retaliate, the heat of his feelings making him hesitate, making him silent. "We all have darkness inside. And light. We're what we decide wins each day. And it's okay to be both at the same time. And it's okay to be confused. You've done a lot of things; unforgivable, that's true, but I also know you did them because of the rampaging whirl of emotions you were withholding. I'm not a jedi, Ben. Neither you are a Sith. We never will. Because balance exists in us."

"But, I…!", he babbled.

She stepped forwards again, taking one of his hands, and then the other one, and pulling them together in front of her.

"It's possible that you've done unforgivable things. It's possible that there's no one willing to trust you. But I am, Ben." She lifted her eyes again, staring at his face. "I trust you. I know you. I know you inside and out. I know what you are, I know how you are. That's why I saved you. That's why I prevented you from getting killed. Because I know it was you who put an end to this war. Because I know that inside you, there's light, because I can see it."

"No, no, no…", he sobbed, feeling his soul breaking into pieces. "This is all wrong… I…"

"Ben", she went on. "Do you remember what I told you about coming to me, about joining me?"

"I saw the opposite…", he replied, perplexed because of that sudden intervention.

She smiled tenderly.

"I think we were both right. The universe doesn't need more Jedi. It doesn't need more Sith. We both know what darkness is, what light is. The universe needs our balance. It needs us."

"Please, Rey… Stop… I can't… I can't…" He shook his head, clenching his teeth. However, for some reason, he was unable of avert his hands from hers.

"Of course you can, Ben. I've seen it inside you. You've come a long way, suffering for yourself, tormenting yourself. Let me take a bit of that burden. Let me be your support, and help you in this path. Let me allow you rest, let me find yourself again."

"I can't, Rey", he said, his voice rupturing. "I can't do this."

The smile in Rey's face vanished.

"Why not, Ben? What's stopping you?"

"I… I…"

His hands clenched too, and he knew he could not keep the secret anymore. He would tell her, and she would knew why she had to run from him. Because that was too dangerous.

He lifted his head and sank his pupils in hers, memorizing once more his facial features. Her hands were all he could feel. Her hands and the piercing pain in his chest.

"I love you, Rey." For some reason, right after saying those words, he felt a weight die away, his whole body lighter, and his tears turned more abundant. "All of this… I've done all of this because of you. For you to be safe. For you… I've realized you were right. That I can't be light or darkness whole. I'm not even goof for that. And still, I know you can't reciprocate my feelings. Because I don't deserve it. I've done so much harm to you… I've been so horribly awful to you, in every aspect… To everyone… A vile person like me doesn't deserve redemption, doesn't deserve to live a content life. It deserves to die and mend all its sins like that. I'm too fickle, too dangerous, too irritable, too… Stupid." He lowered his sight again, his locks covering his face. "I'm sorry. You should just kill me right now. I'm not going to defend myself. I can't do it, even if I wanted to. Much less against you."

"Ben…"

Rey released his hands, and he closed his eyes, feeling completely empty without her touch.

But so it should be.

That is why, after the initial surprise he felt when she grabbed his head, pushing his hair back carefully, and she wrapped him in her arms, he could only stay still.

"I forgive you for everything you've done to me, Ben. I know what was feasting inside you, and it's the same thing mistreating you know." She squeezed him against her, trying to make him feel as loved as he should have felt much longer before calling himself Kylo. And yet, he would not hug her back, his arms falling inert to his flanks. "You've been lost for loads of time. But being lost has something good, and it's that when you don't know where you are, nor who you are, you can rebuild yourself up again. Choose the fate you wish. And about not reciprocating your feelings… This may be a little bit selfish from my side, but I also… I love you too." Rey laughed, amused at the fact of saying out loud something that she had thought for so long that she could never confess.

"R… Rey?", he said, totally blown away. In his guts, something warm flooded him completely, something even more intense than everything she had made him feel up until that very moment, thick as honey.

"Mmhmm?", she answered on his chest.

"What are you doing to me?", he whispered, still unable to hug her.

She laughed.

"I told you I never said I was only light…"

He hold back a chuckle and, inside him, his feelings seemed to calm down and organize themselves a little bit more.

The room became silent.

"Rey?"

"Yes?"

"Is this really okay?" , he asked, hesitant, his tears already drying up on his face, his voice the one an innocent child would have.

"And if it's not, who cares?"

"Huh?", he blinked, confused.

Rey moved a bit away from him, frowning and looking at his face, still her arms around him.

"If anyone wants to harm you, I'll kick their ass. Even if it's Finn."

He observed her, her eyes truly filled with determination, and a big smile sprouted on his face.

"What's up?", she replied, pouting.

He shook his head, smiling without teeth, and surrounded her with his arms. She raised her eyebrows, delighted, and let him push her against his chest.

"Will you help me redeem myself? Mend my sins, somehow?"

"Always", she responded, smiling widely, feeling his hand caressing her hair. "After all, it's what I've been doing this whole time, don't you think?"

He smiled.

The fight inside him went on. But, for the first time in forever, his heart rejoiced, almost hurt because of all the love around him.

He was the worst person in the universe.

But if even this way, if even knowing all the wicked things he had done, if even knowing the torment inside him… If knowing all that, Rey loved him…

He could keep on living. Trying hard.

For her.

For himself.

He closed his eyes, bathing in the body heat emanating from the scavenger that had saved the universe. That had saved him. And he knew she was right.

He might had gotten lost in the darkness. He might had done unforgivable things guided by Snoke, guided by the Darkness.

But he would coexist with that.

Because there, between his arms, a person existed who loved him for himself.

And, even if it was a little bit selfish, he could keep on living if it was like that.

If he had Rey besides him…

He would be able to see the light in his days.

Because he had never been Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren would have never been able to love that way.

He was Han Solo's son. Leia Organa's son. Luke Skywalker's disciple. The former Supreme Leader.

He knew light, and darkness, and loneliness, and love.

He was Ben Solo.

And never, ever, would he make the same mistakes again.

Not with her by his side.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter 2_**

"Rey!"

Finn came storming into the room, his shirt badly fastened.

"The guardian droids have warned me abou-"

He suddenly stopped, noticing the scene before his eyes. Rey and Ben parted ways, looking away, ashamed. However, Ben grabbed Rey's robe carefully from behind: he was not ready to have her so far away yet.

Finn lifted his arm, pointing at Ben.

"You…". He tilted his head. "What did you do to Rey?"

Rey grunted, rolling her eyes.

"Finn, I already told you nothing's wrong with me!"

"You've been acting weird for a long time now. And since… since we ran away from the mine you've been acting even weirder. And after that you told me about the wireless calls you were having, and-"

"Connections[LM1] through the Force", she said.

"Whatever". Finn approached them, squinting. "He has had something to do with all this. I'm sure he's manipulating your thoughts or something along those lines". Finn could not help but gesticulate, visibly angry.

"Finn, I've told you th-"

"Finn!", a familiar voice exclaimed.

A disheveled Poe appeared at the door, carrying some clothes with him.

"You've left this behi-"

He stopped there, in silence, frowning at the sight of the former Supreme Leader. He stood as tall as he was, his smile turning into severity. He looked at him from his toes to his head, thoughtful. For some reason, Kylo Ren seemed… smaller. Not in the physical sense. Something was missing in his personality, that facet that they had seen at the gates of the mine.

A single glance was enough to know.

His wrath had disappeared.

He could see in his neuter face, in the hand grasping Rey's robe, in the way he stood up.

The grand Kylo Ren was afraid.

He sighed, closing his eyes.

Maybe Rey was right and Kylo did not exist anymore. Maybe that was Ben, the kid lost so long ago. But that did not change everything he had had, all the lives he had taken in his selfishness.

"General Leia…" Poe lifted his head, surprised. Ben Solo was hesitating, his eyes unable to fixate in one place only. He licked his lips and looked at him again. "My mother…"

"She died not long after leaving the mines", Poe answered. His voice was cold. "We pretended she was still in charge to mislead you."

Ben lowered his head, contemplating the floor.

"I see", he murmured. He nodded, frowning his lips. "Okay."

"Now I'm the one in charge", Poe continued, grabbing his belt with one hand. "And lemme tell you, I don't intend to let my guard down anytime soon."

"That's right", Finn echoed, pointing at him again. "Anytime soon".

"Guys, I appreciate your concern for taking your jobs seriously, but…", Rey raised an eyebrow, examining them with irony in her pupils. "Don't you think you should take care after your image a little bit more?"

Finn looked down and, troubled, fastened his belt.

"This isn't over", he said, pointing at his own eyes with his index and ring ginger, and Ben's eyes afterwards, as he left the room.

Poe remained there a few moments, his expression hard even though he was barefoot and wearing his clothes in a funny way and, right after that, still carrying clothes, he followed Finn.

Rey sighed.

"I'm sorry about all that". She turned to him, smiling softly. "They're too protective".

Ben looked at her face, full of sweetness, and he couldn't help but smile too. He lifted a hand to her face, encompassing her jaw, and she closed her eyes, bathing in the heat of his hand.

"I can understand them", he replied.

Rey punched him in the chest, and he coughed, trying to hide the fact that she had really done some damage to him.

"Rey?"

"Yes?"

"Could you do me a favor?"

It had been his idea, but now, he did not know if he would be really able to fulfill it.

All the Resistance observed him in the lower part of the ship, around little combat machines here and there. He swallowed. Right before him, Poe and Finn contemplated him sideways. Besides him, Rey kept a hand on his shoulder, encouraging him. After him, a huge window allowed the vast space, that was so familiar to him, to be seen.

Ben stepped forward, observing the faces of his public.

There were only looks full of hatred, of disdain, and even some of them were looks of compassion.

None of them were friendly.

Rey tightened her grasp and stood away from him. Ben looked at her for an instant, searching for the braveness he needed, and she nodded.

He breathed in deeply and, stepping forward once again, he did what he should have done a long, long time ago.

Kneeling between Finn and Poe, he bowed to the floor, grazing it with his nose, both of this hands on each side of his head. He could feel the bewilderness around him, the buzzing increasing from the lower deck.

"I know that nothing I can say will be able to make up for everything I've done". As soon as he started talking, his voice amplified by the little microphone on his chest, the room went completely silent. "There are no excuses for what I did. It's true that I was lost, and hurt, and full of confusion. It's true that I lost the knowledge of what was real and what wasn't. It's true I've suffered. But you've gone through bad times too. Worse than I have. And yet, you kept the hope that I was so desperate to take away from you. Now I know that everyone goes through that confusion, that we all doubt and suffer. Now I know that I've been selfish. A horrible person. And, despite knowing that, there are people who are willing to love me." He lifted his head, observing his listeners, while the image of Rey went across his head. Their faces were showing mixed feelings. "A few hours ago, I've asked to be murdered. I thought that was the only way to mend my sins. But now I understand a little bit better". He bowed again, his forehead touching the floor this time. "I'm not worthy of forgiveness. I'm not worthy of your friendship. But the least I can do is this. Hate me. Disdain me, ignore me. Tolerate me. Try to kill me. Do as you please. I'm not going to try and scape from this. My punishment will be to see every day what I could have had, and what I will probably never have. So, please. This is my apology, my plea to all of you: don't let my crimes fall into oblivion. Tell me about those I killed. About the families I destroyed, about the worlds I made explode. Let me cry for them, let me wake up from this trance I have submerged myself. And if one day… If one day you decide to accept me… I'll never be able to thank you enough. That's all."

He stood there, slouched, holding back his tears, until he felt two hands on his back. He turned to them, his eyes crying, and he faced Rey.

"Let's go", she whispered.

Ben blinked, confused, stumbling as he tried to stand up. Rey took his mic and, after giving it to a droid, she pulled Ben out of the crowd. He could not stop looking behind him, stretching an arm to the ship crew. The last thing he saw before the doors closed was the face of a solemn Poe, totally unshaken.

Rey sighed, shaking her head. She released his hand and turned to him, slightly frowning.

"Do you feel better?"

"It's what mother would've wanted", he whispered, crestfallen.

Her expression dulcified and, carefully, she pulled his hair back from his forehead. He looked at her, feeling how his self was filled with peace immediately. She put his head in her hands, smiling, and approached her lips to his, slowly.

During the brief instant before touching, Ben hesitated again, his peace upset.

But as soon as their mouths touched, he forgot about everything. She came closer to him, tangling her heads into his hair. Ben felt his heart flutter and, confused, noticed as something else emerged inside him.

A pressing sensation, as if they were still too far away from each other.

Rey was going to get away from him, as sweet as usual, but he could not allow that. He grasped her wrist with one hand and, with the other one, he wrapped her waist, drawing her to him, their bodies even closer than before, when they had hugged.

But he was not satisfied.

Ben separated barely a millimeter, sighing, his mind completely blank.

"Rey", he murmured, and he felt her shivering between his arms.

No, it was not enough.

He approached his mouth to hers but, before touching, he trapped her inferior lip between his teeth, biting carefully. He could see the redness and surprise on her face, and his heart turned upside down in his chest again, his stomach feeling flooded by a thick warmness. He kissed her again, but this time he took advantage of the opening of her lips to look for her tongue with his own, delighted by her flavor, discovering more parts of her. At the same time, he started to caress her back, following his instinct, entangling her hair around his fingers. He was breathless, but he could not stop. He wanted more from her, more and more.

They averted for an instant, and Ben made her spin, putting her against the wall, pressing his whole body against her, caressing her neck while their tongues played with each other. He took his hand down to her waist, and then, to her hips, grabbing them with strength and pulling them to him. It was in the moment before touching that a groan escaped his lips in middle of their passionate kiss, and he realized what he was doint.

He let her go, panting, troubled. Rey looked at him, her eyes wide, her face red. Ben felt the blush come up to his ears and, evading her eyes, ashamed, he lowered his sight, licking his lips again.

"I-I'm sorry… I-I don't know… I don't know what happened to me".

Rey opened her mouth, but she was unable to articulate any sound.

Ben bowed clumsily and, almost sprinting, he ran away from her, cursing himself, mumbling, till he reached the small room he had been given, leaving a totally perplexed and disheveled Rey behind.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter 3_**

Rey could not stop thinking about what had happened, meditative.

She had spent the whole day away from him, busy with her tasks. The people around her, although confused for seeing her so close to the famed Kylo Ren, kept on treating her the same.

But there were some people who knew her too well to pretend that everything was fine.

"Rey, what the hell is wrong with you?"

She lifted her head, stopping at that very moment in her swivel chair. Finn was staring at her, still eating his dinner, sitting on the desk. Behind him, Poe and Rose were looking at the screen deck and were conversing. It was late, and most of the crew were already asleep.

"Nothing", she replied, hardly smiling.

Finn lowered his hands and, with them, his burger, raising an eyebrow.

"Rey, I know the best in this ship. Well, maybe with the exception of Poe. You know, benefits of being a concubine."

Rey laughed, and he smiled a little bit.

"What I mean is, you can't lie to me. I've let you get away with similar things other times, but not this one."

The girl's expression turned serious slowly as she came to understand that the former Stormtrooper was talking in earnest.

"So, spit it out."

"Alright", she sighed, playing with her belt. "It's about Ben…"

"I knew it!", Finn exclaimed, and before the deadly look on her friend, he regained composure. "Well, tell me what he has done now, that… that…"

Rey rolled her eyes and proceeded to tell him in detail, ignoring the red in her cheeks. Finn remained silent, forcing himself to eat the burger so as to not to interrupt her, knowing his fate if he did. However, he was having a face trip without him noticing.

When Rey had finished, Finn had already tossed the paper to BB-8, who had picked it up, not without complaining.

"Honestly, Rey, I think he's playing mind games", Finn replied. "You're too kind and let yourself be fooled by him."

"Finn, you can have a lot of good attributes, but knowing but others think is not one of them". Poe appeared behind him, putting an arm over his shoulder.

"Were you listening?" Rey stood up, surprised even though that kind of thing was to be expected from them.

"Of course. And to be honest, I don't know what you don't understand about it", Rose said, taking a seat in the same chair where Rey was until moments before.

"Well, I mean, I had never gone through this… I thought he believed I was… attractive, but he has left so suddenly, and I haven't known anything from him."

"If there's something I know of, that's men", Poe replied, gesticulating with his hand besides his partner's ear. "And trust me, if he left, it's because he deemed it necessary."

"What do you mean?" Rey tilted her head, frowning.

Rose sighed.

"He means he was… you know…" She stared at her, meaningfully. "Out of control."

"Oh, I've seen him other times out of control, and he has never left. I think you're wrong, Rose."

The three of them sighed. BB-8 let out a huge whistle of disappointment, even lowering its head.

"Rey, look at me", said Finn, suddenly. "I didn't want to be the one to tell you this, because I still disagree with them. Are you listening?"

Rey nodded, feeling conflicted and confused inside.

"He left", Finn started, "because he didn't want to make love to you in the middle of the corridor." Rey started to blush more and more with each word. "In fact, I'm willing to swear that he's a virgin, and probably also doubting about what he should do. If they are right, he doesn't want to do something wrong and make you get away from him. So, he stopped, because it was the only thing he could manage to do. Do you understand?"

Rey looked at the floor, then at Finn, and nodded. The room remained silent, waiting for a reaction.

"I think… I'm going to sleep", she murmured, and went out of there as fast as she could. After her, even though she couldn't see them, Rose and Poe smiled. Nevertheless, Finn contemplated her with worry in his eyes.

Rey ran to her room, and only when the door closed behind her, she allowed herself to breathe with ease again, putting her back against the wall and falling to the floor.

"What should I do…?", she sighed.

Hours before all that, Ben couldn't stop walking around in his room.

A droid had brought his food, which, after the nap he had taken to forget his problems for a while, had been a blessing to his stomach.

All the same, he was now unable to sleep.

He was totally lost.

He sat again on the bed, contemplating his white and blue suit.

He let himself fall back in the bed, remembering the scene once again. And once more, the blush appeared on his ears. He slapped himself softly and covered his face.

Rey was so special to him… He did not want to take any steps that could be misinterpreted, he did not want her to fear or reject him…

And even now…

What should he do now?

"Do you really need me in a moment like this?"

Ben stood promptly.

Luke stared at him, sat on a chair, his feet on Ben's desk, with the same look he had the last time he had been seen, at the mines.

"Hey, nephew."

"Uncle Luke…", he said. It was the first time a spirit showed before him by the means of the Force. He lowered his head an instant, and lifted it once again, taking a step in his direction, almost running into him due to the place being too small. "I have a problem."

"I can see that", he replied. "What I don't understand is why, of all people fitter for this, you call me."

Ben frowned.

"I didn't… Anyway, what do you mean that you're not fit for this?"

"Women aren't my thing, son", Luke said. "Of all the people I've had any kind of relationship with, I've only kissed one woman in my life, and she turned out to be my twin."

"… That's too much information", Ben murmured, uncomfortable.

"Well, you know what? Wait a second." Luke lifted a finger, looking at the ceiling, and then nodded. "Yes, she's coming."

"Who's com-"

"Well, well."

Ben turned around, startled, and found General Leia Organa before his eyes, sitting on his bed with that expression, the one that he knew too well.

"Sister, your son has clearly a sentimental problem."

"And when doesn't he?", she replied.

Luke nodded, raising his eyebrows.

"Mother, I… I'm sorry for all I made you go through…"

"Yea, yea, cut the crap." Leia made a derogative gesture with her hand, separating it from his cane for an instant. "I know everything you've done and said, and what you feel."

"Then, do you know that…?"

"That you have the same talent when it comes to dealing with women than the poor bastard that is your father?", Leia raised an eyebrow. "Of course I know."

Ben frowned, casting his chin forward.

"My father wasn't-"

"Your father is a poor bastard that only knew how to deal with chicks with their heads full of air, who liked vests and intergalactic thieves", she interrupted, as charismatic and hard as usual. "That's why it took him so long to make me fall in love. Or, at least, to think so. And Rey… Well, Rey is very similar to me. Even stronger."

Ben smiled without teeth, remembering her, her way of talking and moving around him.

"You've had bad luck. If you had inherited my genes for seduction, you wouldn't be here right now, but making love to that girl as it should be."

"Mother!", he exclaimed, blushing, taken with his guard down. He lowered his head. "It's not like I didn't want to…"

"Listen, Ben." Leia stood up and, slowly, put his son's hands between her own. Ben felt the so known warm sensation in his chest, his eyes lost in their mothers'. He could have had had so many anecdotes with her… "Apologize to her if you deem it necessary. But that girl loves you. More than that, she's in love with you." She stared at him, squeezing his hands, remarking her message. "I'm sure she's willing to continue with that little scene in the corridor as well. But don't be afraid to ask her. To talk about your feelings. I know it's new for you, but if you really want to be by her side…"

"Yes, I do", he replied, unable to restrain himself.

Leia smiled.

"Then, don't let this slip through your fingers. Don't leave anything without discussion. The lack of communication creates misunderstandings, and it's those misunderstandings what make people who really love each other part ways. Don't let you both fall in the same thing your father and I fell."

Ben nodded, shaken by her words.

"And for whatever you love the most, treat her well, or I'll make sure to come back to throw you to space myself", she added.

"She's able to do it", Luke intervened.

Ben snorted, holding back a laugh. He stared at the floor for a moment, and then nodded.

Leia did the same and, after patting his hands softly a couple of times, she took her cane again.

"We'll see each other around", she said, smiling. "Son."

Ben extended his arm, squeezing one of her hands once again, timidly.

"Bye, mother."

Leia's gesture dulcified for an instant and, right after that, she disappeared.

"Well", said Luke. "Bye, nephew. I hope you obey your mother. She's wiser than all the jedi together."

Ben nodded, patting his shoulder in a friendly way, and Luke disappeared too.

And, even though he knew he was right, his worry turned into another one.

How could he apologize to Rey?

To the person he loved the most in the world?

Right after those words came out of Rey's mouth, reclined against the door of her room, Luke appeared before her, rolling his eyes.

"Again?"

Rey stood up, excited.

"Luke! What are you doing here?"

Luke tilted his head, judging her with his look.

"I'm not even going to answer that. Leia!"

General Leia Organa appeared suddenly besides Rey and, putting up her cane, hit her on the head.

"Ouch!"

"Have you learnt that from Yoda?", Luke laughed, entertained, and proceeded to walk around the room as soon as his sister ignored him.

"Stupid child!", Leia exclaimed, frowning, the cane above her head. "You're both idiots!"

"Hey, I don't deserve that hit!", Rey replied, rubbing the place where she had hit her. "And I don't know what you're talking about!"

Leia sighed, lowering the cane, and rubbing her temples with her remaining hand.

"Rey, my child", she sighed, turning to her and looking at her smoothly, tired. "You've called me here for what has happened this morning with Ben, right?"

Rey became completely red.

"Well, I-I guess so", she stood as tall as she was, trying to keep her composure.

"In that case, this is useless."

"What do you…"

"What do you want to do?"

Rey kept silence. She bit her lip.

"C'mon, say it!", Luke lashed, standing next to her bed, his hand still on the mattress. "We don't have the whole day!"

Rey was going to answer, bothered, but she hesitated a couple instants and, defeated, decided to obey.

"I want to go see him…"

"And then?" Leia raised one eyebrow.

Rey stared at her.

"Huh?"

"What are you waiting for?"

Rey opened her mouth to answer, but Leia tilted her head a little bit, and she went silent.

Yes. They were all excuses.

The truth was, she was afraid. She was afraid of what could happen.

"I've already talked to him", Leia continued, smiling tenderly. "You can go with ease."

Rey took a step towards her, making a decision in that very instant, tightening her lips, asking permission with her eyes. Leia nodded, and she hugged her.

"Thank you", she whispered, really feeling those words inside her.

"Alright, alright", Leia laughed. "And now, go. He's waiting for you."

Rey moved away, smiling, unable to restrain her excitement and, apologizing with her look, she ran out of the room at the same time that the twins disappeared.

Yes. That was what she wanted to do, she thought as her legs travelled the corridors of the ship towards the lower floors.

She had nothing to fear from Ben, much less in that aspect. Ben was…

Ben was intense, but delicate when he had to be.

She blushed, remembering the final moment of their kissed that morning.

Rough when he had to be.

She reached the lift and pressed the button, but the elevator didn't arrive, and she was in a hurry.

She wanted to see him.

To tell him that nothing was wrong. That it was okay. That it was okay if it was with him.

Even though he was probably more experimented. Even though he was still doubting about himself.

She trusted him, completely, thoroughly. And that was enough.

The lift finally arrived, and she started pressing the floor button once and again, eager to touch him, to caress his hair and skin.

The elevator took its time while she changed her weight from one leg to the other, nervous. All of her being wanted to have him close.

His smile, his lips, his hands, his eyes.

His kisses. The way he caressed her, the way their tongues touched.

The big blade of the elevator lifted and, without waiting for it to open completely, she crawled under it and started to run again.

Only when she was right before his door, she stopped for a moment, catching her breath.

She brushed her hair with her hands, calming her pounding heart, and she lifted one hand to knock on the door.

And then, it opened before she could do it, and they both stared at each other, face to face.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

That scene did not last for long.

They both looked at each other, Rey's closed fist still up on the air. Their eyes went over the other's features, the mouths half open, and then, they started to talk at the same time.

"I…", they said in unison. They smiled. "I'm sorry. I just wanted…"

A laugh, also in unison, escaped their chests.

"I wanted to see you", said Rey.

"Me too", he replied.

They stayed in silence for an instant, wishing to touch each other, holding back.

"I'm sorry", added Ben, starting to speak without stopping, Rey getting lost in his lips. "What I did this morning wasn't very appropriate. I'm sorry about my behavior, and… The truth is that… I had never done this, and…

Rey could not hold back any longer.

"Shut up and kiss me", she whispered, leaving him flabbergasted, grabbing him by the neck of the suit with strength. She attracted him to her in barely a second, fusing her lips with his, and entangling his hair between her fingers.

Ben grabbed her by the waist, and while the door closed behind them, their tongues met again. Rey started to push him to the bed, and finally, she pulled him there, separating him.

Ben, now lying down, panted breathless, his eyes wide open.

"Are… are you sure about this?"

Rey nodded, settling above him fast, sitting on his hips. She laid her whole weight on him, kissing his face slowly, roaming his scar with daintiness. He let her do, feeling his heart bursting in his chest, caressing her hair.

Rey stopped for a moment, looking at him, and she smiled widely.

"What happens?", inquired Ben, smiling too, infected by her mood.

"It's just that… this feels… as it should be", she whispered, coming near his ear.

"Yes, I think so t-"

Ben stopped in the middle of the phrase, feeling Rey licking his earlobe and biting his ear. A moan flourished between his lips, and Rey let go a small laugh.

As an answer, he grabbed her by the hips and pushed him against his body, forcing her to feel the hardness of his crotch.

Rey widened her eyes, surprised and reddened, and she could not help but pant, looking at him with incredulity.

"B-Ben?"

"It's your fault", he replied, smiling wantonly. Before she could add anything else, he sat back up and, using pure physical strength, he turned her around and laid her below him, taking off her belt and the first layer of her robes.

He put both arms at both sides of her head, watching her for a moment, and he approached her slowly, making her anticipate his contact. He grazed her lips with his and stood away.

Rey frowned.

"Don't do that", she said, slightly irritated.

Ben smiled.

"Ask me"

Rey put on a surprised face. Having him like that, above her, in this way…

"Why?"

"If you don't, I can't know if you really want it".

"Kiss me", she suddenly said, blushing.

"Just that?", Ben arched an eyebrow.

Rey looked away an instant, ashamed.

"No…"

"What more, then?"

"I want… I want…"

"Mmmhmmm?". Ben observed her so closely that she could not escape him. Before she could answer, she felt his lips on her neck, kissing her, leaving a trail of saliva on it, and the heat that kept on invading her body overthrew her shame.

"Ben… I want you to make love to me"

As an answer, he bit her neck softly, and immediately, bit her lips. The fire turned on more and more inside Rey, and she could bear it no longer.

Sitting up, she started to undress him, still kissing him everywhere: face, lips, neck, shoulders, chest… He did the same, lustful for her too, and soon they embraced each other with passion, revering each other with caresses and small kisses, panting and moans as little fugitives from their lips, revealing how they felt.

Finally, Ben found himself with her between his arms, sat down, only the underwear between them.

"Are you really… sure about this?", he asked her one last time.

Rey put his face between her hands and kissed him with passion, taking her hands to his back and making him take the thermal shirt off.

Ben felt her chest against his and, noticing her nipples were as erect as himself, he could not help but become breathless.

"If it's with you, I'm more than sure", she whispered in his ear, biting it.

Ben rolled his eyes in pure pleasure.

If it was like that…

Games were over.

He put her below him again, taking her underwear off, shaky, admiring every inch of her body, and did the same to himself, revealing his erection.

He bended over her, kissing her nose, her lips, her collarbones, her boobs, her belly and her bellybutton, going down to her pubis.

"You're gorgeous", he said, in awe.

Rey partially covered her face with her elbow, ashamed, everlasting smile on her lips.

"You're incredibly attractive, Ben", she replied, admiring his back and tonified body.

Ben ignored her, submerging his face in her labia and, following her indications, proceeded to use his tongue, rounding her clitoris, licking slowly the whole zone, circling her vagina and going up again. Rey trembled with pleasure, assuring him that he was doing well, and that, added to her spontaneous hip movement, made his erection bigger, even lubricating involuntarily.

"I can't take it anymore", he announced, his voice raspy, and he stood above her.

Rey opened her legs, ready, her whole body vibrating with excitement and nervousness. Ben looked at her once more, asking for permission, already setting his dick at the doors of her vagina, and she nodded.

Ben started to push, slowly. She made a painful face, and he went back.

"Do you wanna stop?"

"No, no… I've felt… Something", she said, being honest. "It hurts, but… I wanna go on"

Ben nodded, troubled. He did not want to hurt her.

He tried again, slowly, putting it in with care.

Rey groaned with pain, and Ben was about to exit her when she denied with the head.

"No, no, go on, go on... Something's happening", she said, excited.

Ben sighed, nervous. He grabbed her hips and went on. She was so tight…

Rey moaned again, but there was something different in her voice.

"Damn, Ben… What's this?", she widened her eyes.

Ben smirked.

"I don't know either", he replied, and kept putting his dick in until he was totally submerged in her, saturated in her wetness. They stood a moment there, in silence. "Are you okay?"

Rey smiled.

"It hurts less and less and I like it more and more", she said, and she made a gesture with her hand so that he would get closer. "Kiss me while you make love to me, Ben. That wat nothing will hurt…"

Ben, softened, bended down and started kissing her slowly, with passion. She moaned, and he felt that he could not help himself anymore.

He started to get it out, slowly, still playing with her tongue, biting her lips. She emitted sounds of pleasure, and he repeated the movement, putting it in carefully. He did it once again, and then, she turned her face one instant, panting.

"For whatever's sake, Ben, faster"

Her tone made his adrenaline go up and, noticing his erection recovering from his nervousness, he put it out and in again, feeling her vagina covering him entirely, welcoming him. He could not help but moan.

"Rey…"

"Ben, Ben, Ben", she groaned, hugging him against her, both starting to sweat. He started to accelerate, faster and faster, his push more and more like a dash, and she could only hold onto him, unable to express with words the pleasure that went through her from her head to her toes, the pain almost nonexistent in her body.

Ben kissed her neck and bit it, caressing her waist till her hips with her hands at the same time that he continued to make love to her with strength, their skins making sounds when touching. Rey screamed, asking for more, and Ben could only obey, hypnotized by her, by her body, by her voice, by her smell…

With each dash, the control of his body vanished more and more, and he could only feel her, her hands touring his back, involuntarily scratching him, her vagina contracting around his penis, her petitions for more of him. He started to groan with every movement, fusing more and more with her, their souls uniting.

"Rey… I can't anymore… !", he panted, the climax closer as timed passed by, the pleasure making him mad.

"Me neither, me neither, me neither!", Rey groaned, almost losing her mind, her fingers interlacing in his hair, her legs around his hips. "I'm… I'm cumming!"

That was the last thing that he needed.

Ben made the last pushes, keeping himself inside her, feeling her vagina firing up at the same time that it contracted and contracted, following the spasms of Rey's body, and they both reached orgasm at the same time, both of them moaning in pleasure, their eyes rolled back.

Ben let himself fall onto her, still without parting ways, recovering his breath, and she breathed in deeply, caressing his hair and putting it behind his ear.

Ben stood like that for a couple of moments and, immediately, he separated from her, lying next to her and covering her with an arm. She turned to him and they fused in a hug, their warm skins making contact. Ben kissed her on the head.

"Rey?"

"Mmmmhmm…?", she inquired, fully at peace, feeling protected as never before.

"I love you", he whispered, pushing her against him.

She lifted her head, smiling widely, and she kissed him so softly that Ben thought that she would melt on his lips.

"So do I, Ben"

He smiled, shy, still not believing his luck, and started to caress her hair, one of his arms below his loved one's neck, observing every detail of her.

It did not take long for Rey to fall asleep, tired because of so many emotions in one day, letting herself go with the shower of affection.

Ben, watching her there, between his arms, could not help but smile again.

He hugged her tightly, careful not to wake her.

If there was anything like home in an universe like that…

It was her.

And, with that thought, he fell asleep, feeling really happy for the first time in ages.


End file.
